This really resonates with me. When I was just beginning my recovery from mental illness, when everything still sucked BIG TIME but I knew I couldn't keep living in the same patterns I'd been living in, I remember thinking and writing about hope and how painful it felt. Now, much further into my recovery journey, I recognize that pain as fight. Like you put it--a wounded guinea hen cockfighter, broken winged, one-eyed and still blazing. Because hope has to be.
I've never been called a hopeaholic, but I have been told that I'm stubborn and driven. And I'd say that that stubbornness is the only thing that kept me alive on the worst days. Here's to the stubborn, angry, relentless hope that continues to fight even when everything feels impossible.
I really think you would enjoy Ross Gay's poem "Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude." It's long, and it took me several tries to really grasp it and appreciate it, but it has a very similar sentiment to your thoughts on hope, but he calls it gratitude.
This note. And everything within it. I too believe that stubbornness is why I am still here. I refused to give in and I fervently believe that it is one of the most important ingredients in life with mental illness.
ALSO THIS POEM. THANK YOU. xoxoxo sending so much love!
Whew boy, right there with you. Instead of donuts, i had a chocolate chip Teddy Graham day. They went down well as I sighed again with grief. But I am ever the optimistic one. I've been called a golden retriever, just happy to be here. And I'll use that sunny attitude to help me through these days.
I would like tuggie’s bed! But aside from that. It’s been a week. A lot of crying. No donuts, but I appreciate the donuts! I want donuts, I crave donuts BUT I have had the best donuts of my life (The Holy Donut in Maine - potato donuts, I kid you not, they are real and really the best) dark chocolate sea salt glazed. Alas, I am not in Maine. Today, I am going for French fries. Homemade, air fried (thanks to my kids!) the only way to combat what I am feeling is by sticking to what I know. LOVE and PEACE! May you feel love and peace today and everyday. Xxoo
Tuggie would love to share her bed! And oh my goodness where in maine are those found?!?!?! Also -- amen to french fries! Even the none homemade kind. Sending so so much love your way!
Kate, I needed this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. As much as I tried to take a self care day, this time of year is my most challenging for my neurodivergent brain. The sun is lower in the sky and the light is shorter in the day. I too am a hopeaholic even in the darkest days I have experienced. I've forced myself to limit my Social engagement only to read a horrific headline this morning as well as yesterday when a man in line behind me at the grocery store tried to push my buttons about the election result. It was so bizarre and foreign to me that It threw me off even more. I decided to "kill him with kindness" by smiling and giving a "take care" as I exited. May we all support and lift each other up in the days to come. I'm going to hop on my bike and ride like the wind to try to nurture my perseveration. Let's put one foot (or toe) in front of the other as we navigate this together. We're not alone...We're still here.
Yes all the kindness. AND all the biking!!! I hope that ride honored you and your fight the way you deserved it to. And here's to each toe forward. xo sending so much love!
I cannot believe a felon was elected to the WH. I’ve been numb all week. That women voted for a rapist is unimaginable. It all comes down to believing the horrible lies about transgender persons and immigrants. All we can do is support those who are most vulnerable. I didn’t buy donuts but found Christmas Jelly Wreaths.
“how naive I was to believe I would ever live beyond the bounds”….. I’ve recently become very comfortable with perceiving me as naive for my unwaivering belief that I would be so horrifically severely ill one month and completely healed the next! Nothing could deter my belief. My hope was rebellious.
It didn’t matter how many months (years) that did not happen for. Still, I believed.
Now I’m into my 2nd year of only mild pain and symptoms. I’ve never experienced mild pain in my life before last year. I still have a few odd days a month every month and still, I believe.
I can see how odd I look now. But now it doesn’t matter if I improve or not (I still continue to), I have my life back! I live a great life🤩 no depression since December 2022 and only one heightened sense of anxiety felt this year.
Showering ourselves in love, kindness, compassion, being gentle, forgiving and authentic is the greatest medicine💜
YES. still, I believed. AND still, you proved them wrong! I am so so happy that you are have found yourself in a lighter place. This fills my heart to the brim. Sending so so much love your way this morning. May the week tread lightly on you 💜 💜 💜
This might be my favorite thing I've read of yours. I have a pair of loving, devoted, kindhearted parents, but they unfortunately do not understand the need to have donut days. Their response to my sobbing on election night was to recommend meditation apps, unsure of how else to help. But I knew, deep down, that the only way for me to get through it is to get through it. Feel it all. Mourn it all. Sob and sob and sleep and cry. Find my way through the feelings, not around them. I cannot push them aside. Thank you for putting words to the need for days of pure and complete acceptance, regardless of what those days might include. It's hard to remember that my need for those days (and my ability to make it through them) makes me stronger, not weaker. It's okay to be in bed. It's okay to sleep for 12 hours. It's okay to cry until there are no more tears. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to find your way back to okay-ness by melting for a day or two. Listening to that need is a beautiful, powerful thing. Gifting yourself those days is an act of strength. I needed to hear that from you, and I'm so grateful you put it into such eloquent and kindhearted words.
Yes yes yes. honoring YOU is so important and the most powerful thing we can do. So grateful to have you here with me. and thank you for these most kind words. sending so much love 💜 💜 💜
It was in 2016 just a week after the election that I decided I couldn't do life anymore and attempted to leave this world.... interesting 🤔But worry not....I AM STILL HERE and will remain until the end of my time. Love you all! hang in there everybody! 💜💜💜
Oh love, I hold so much loving space for that and how triggering this must be. YOU ARE STILL HERE. AND WE ARE STILL HERE TOGETHER. And I, for one, could not be more grateful for that fact. Sending so much love your way. And massive girl snugs too! xoxo
I wrote this poem on my whiteboard because I write too… thank you for validating that.
For Them
I voted for you all…. For a future that keeps you safe, cared for , and loved… I voted for my daughter and her future…. Our civic duty to vote for those around us… not to put our needs above , to see the unshed tears and fears…. We rewind decades and we start over…. We are not done. There is always power in the small choices, the every day battles of being kind, gracious, just… We let it sink in and then we stand …. We follow the legacies of those before us… we do not hesitate. We challenge, we encourage, we live and love. Make the call! Call us together and we will become this generations civil rights activists, again and again until we see a world where we are all safe, cared for, and loved for who we are. Again and Again
💜 Thank you so much Kate. I very much needed to hear about your Kate days and radical hope. I work in a male dominated industry and getting through this week was so hard. I’m really struggling right now and your words help so much 💜
"People speak of hope as if it is this delicate, ephemeral thing made of whispers and spider webs. It's not. Hope has dirt on her face, blood on her knuckles, the grit of the cobblestones in her hair, and just spat out a tooth as she rises for another go."
Love your poem. Found the source of this quote -- a guy named Matthew on X. He doesn't appear to be a racist tech bro type. Just a good hearted person.
This really resonates with me. When I was just beginning my recovery from mental illness, when everything still sucked BIG TIME but I knew I couldn't keep living in the same patterns I'd been living in, I remember thinking and writing about hope and how painful it felt. Now, much further into my recovery journey, I recognize that pain as fight. Like you put it--a wounded guinea hen cockfighter, broken winged, one-eyed and still blazing. Because hope has to be.
I've never been called a hopeaholic, but I have been told that I'm stubborn and driven. And I'd say that that stubbornness is the only thing that kept me alive on the worst days. Here's to the stubborn, angry, relentless hope that continues to fight even when everything feels impossible.
I really think you would enjoy Ross Gay's poem "Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude." It's long, and it took me several tries to really grasp it and appreciate it, but it has a very similar sentiment to your thoughts on hope, but he calls it gratitude.
written: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/58762/catalog-of-unabashed-gratitude
read by Ross Gay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uURnrX_-v6o
This note. And everything within it. I too believe that stubbornness is why I am still here. I refused to give in and I fervently believe that it is one of the most important ingredients in life with mental illness.
ALSO THIS POEM. THANK YOU. xoxoxo sending so much love!
Whew boy, right there with you. Instead of donuts, i had a chocolate chip Teddy Graham day. They went down well as I sighed again with grief. But I am ever the optimistic one. I've been called a golden retriever, just happy to be here. And I'll use that sunny attitude to help me through these days.
yes all the golden retriever energy we can muster! and teddy grahams... DROOOOLLL. sending so much love!
I would like tuggie’s bed! But aside from that. It’s been a week. A lot of crying. No donuts, but I appreciate the donuts! I want donuts, I crave donuts BUT I have had the best donuts of my life (The Holy Donut in Maine - potato donuts, I kid you not, they are real and really the best) dark chocolate sea salt glazed. Alas, I am not in Maine. Today, I am going for French fries. Homemade, air fried (thanks to my kids!) the only way to combat what I am feeling is by sticking to what I know. LOVE and PEACE! May you feel love and peace today and everyday. Xxoo
Tuggie would love to share her bed! And oh my goodness where in maine are those found?!?!?! Also -- amen to french fries! Even the none homemade kind. Sending so so much love your way!
Kate, I needed this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. As much as I tried to take a self care day, this time of year is my most challenging for my neurodivergent brain. The sun is lower in the sky and the light is shorter in the day. I too am a hopeaholic even in the darkest days I have experienced. I've forced myself to limit my Social engagement only to read a horrific headline this morning as well as yesterday when a man in line behind me at the grocery store tried to push my buttons about the election result. It was so bizarre and foreign to me that It threw me off even more. I decided to "kill him with kindness" by smiling and giving a "take care" as I exited. May we all support and lift each other up in the days to come. I'm going to hop on my bike and ride like the wind to try to nurture my perseveration. Let's put one foot (or toe) in front of the other as we navigate this together. We're not alone...We're still here.
Yes all the kindness. AND all the biking!!! I hope that ride honored you and your fight the way you deserved it to. And here's to each toe forward. xo sending so much love!
Squuuuuuueeeeezzzzzzeeee!!!! Biggest squeeze to you and the most precious heart that beats in your chest. I adore you. Xx
MASSIVE HUG RIGHT BACK TO YOU, MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN! and all the love and waffy snugs! xoxoxoxo
I cannot believe a felon was elected to the WH. I’ve been numb all week. That women voted for a rapist is unimaginable. It all comes down to believing the horrible lies about transgender persons and immigrants. All we can do is support those who are most vulnerable. I didn’t buy donuts but found Christmas Jelly Wreaths.
Christmas jelly wreaths! And all the support for our most vulnerable. truly. Sending so much love.
Loving all the hopeaholic optimism in here😍
“how naive I was to believe I would ever live beyond the bounds”….. I’ve recently become very comfortable with perceiving me as naive for my unwaivering belief that I would be so horrifically severely ill one month and completely healed the next! Nothing could deter my belief. My hope was rebellious.
It didn’t matter how many months (years) that did not happen for. Still, I believed.
Now I’m into my 2nd year of only mild pain and symptoms. I’ve never experienced mild pain in my life before last year. I still have a few odd days a month every month and still, I believe.
I can see how odd I look now. But now it doesn’t matter if I improve or not (I still continue to), I have my life back! I live a great life🤩 no depression since December 2022 and only one heightened sense of anxiety felt this year.
Showering ourselves in love, kindness, compassion, being gentle, forgiving and authentic is the greatest medicine💜
YES. still, I believed. AND still, you proved them wrong! I am so so happy that you are have found yourself in a lighter place. This fills my heart to the brim. Sending so so much love your way this morning. May the week tread lightly on you 💜 💜 💜
This might be my favorite thing I've read of yours. I have a pair of loving, devoted, kindhearted parents, but they unfortunately do not understand the need to have donut days. Their response to my sobbing on election night was to recommend meditation apps, unsure of how else to help. But I knew, deep down, that the only way for me to get through it is to get through it. Feel it all. Mourn it all. Sob and sob and sleep and cry. Find my way through the feelings, not around them. I cannot push them aside. Thank you for putting words to the need for days of pure and complete acceptance, regardless of what those days might include. It's hard to remember that my need for those days (and my ability to make it through them) makes me stronger, not weaker. It's okay to be in bed. It's okay to sleep for 12 hours. It's okay to cry until there are no more tears. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to find your way back to okay-ness by melting for a day or two. Listening to that need is a beautiful, powerful thing. Gifting yourself those days is an act of strength. I needed to hear that from you, and I'm so grateful you put it into such eloquent and kindhearted words.
Yes yes yes. honoring YOU is so important and the most powerful thing we can do. So grateful to have you here with me. and thank you for these most kind words. sending so much love 💜 💜 💜
The horrors persist…..but so do I!
YES! So do I! And even more incredibly, SO DO WE -- TOGETHER.
HOLY donuts.... AMEN to it all!!!
It was in 2016 just a week after the election that I decided I couldn't do life anymore and attempted to leave this world.... interesting 🤔But worry not....I AM STILL HERE and will remain until the end of my time. Love you all! hang in there everybody! 💜💜💜
Oh love, I hold so much loving space for that and how triggering this must be. YOU ARE STILL HERE. AND WE ARE STILL HERE TOGETHER. And I, for one, could not be more grateful for that fact. Sending so much love your way. And massive girl snugs too! xoxo
I wrote this poem on my whiteboard because I write too… thank you for validating that.
For Them
I voted for you all…. For a future that keeps you safe, cared for , and loved… I voted for my daughter and her future…. Our civic duty to vote for those around us… not to put our needs above , to see the unshed tears and fears…. We rewind decades and we start over…. We are not done. There is always power in the small choices, the every day battles of being kind, gracious, just… We let it sink in and then we stand …. We follow the legacies of those before us… we do not hesitate. We challenge, we encourage, we live and love. Make the call! Call us together and we will become this generations civil rights activists, again and again until we see a world where we are all safe, cared for, and loved for who we are. Again and Again
I love this so so so much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
I love you.
Again and Again.
xo 💜 💜 💜
Oh Kate those words!! Just incredible!! HOPE is my favorite word. Thank you ❤️💜
So grateful for you, Janet. 💜 💜 💜
💜 Thank you so much Kate. I very much needed to hear about your Kate days and radical hope. I work in a male dominated industry and getting through this week was so hard. I’m really struggling right now and your words help so much 💜
I hold so so much loving space for the hardship of it all right now. Truly. So grateful to have you here with me. In it.
Sending so much love 💜 💜 💜
Love the hopeaholic! I will try & hope for a better future but it’s hard these days.
It's okay to not be there too. Truly. The most important thing we do first is honor our pain. Sending so much love to you in that. xoxo 💜 💜 💜
Begin again ❤️
Yes. Today, we begin again.
From some random Facebook meme:
"People speak of hope as if it is this delicate, ephemeral thing made of whispers and spider webs. It's not. Hope has dirt on her face, blood on her knuckles, the grit of the cobblestones in her hair, and just spat out a tooth as she rises for another go."
oh my gosh YES! who wrote that?! I'm obsessed!
Love your poem. Found the source of this quote -- a guy named Matthew on X. He doesn't appear to be a racist tech bro type. Just a good hearted person.