and it is time to stop hiding it. A personal essay on the importance of using honest language and some NOURISHment to get you through the rest of the week.
Thank you for your tireless efforts. Don’t forget that there are those who support you and your goals in solidarity, even if we’re not as loud or present on social media as some are. We thank you and we love you.
What a wonderful and empowering step forward. You continue to push your boundries and I am so proud and thankful and inspired.
I experienced suicidal ideation on Christmas day. I had a plan, but this time was different. It came from outside of me (it felt like it anyway). The plan spoke to me, working out the kinks that might make me fail. But immediately the me that is me, not that other voice, thought of my new kittens and how they needed me. It was enough to stop me. This time.
I am grateful to have this place, where I can write the uncomfortable things that friends don't want to hear. I am physically alone in the world, and my brain tells me no one cares, I will not be missed and it doesn't matter. Kate, sometimes it's hard to see your video's because they bring up so much pain for me. But that pain need to be recognized, named and brought into the light. So I thank you and your brave content & videos, because I am not sure where I would be without them.
Thank you for those words. I tried to end myself twice, the first time I was 15 and I took a whole bottle of aspirin because I remember being told if I did that I would die. I woke up the next day with a headache. I accepted. I wasn’t gonna die right then When I was 21 I was battling a whole bunch of demons and I was still living on Guam so I took a bunch of Valium and a bottle of vodka with the idea that I would end myself at a beautiful beach, peaceful, restful obviously that did not happen, I woke up again to sunrise that was so rose and gold and ocean blue that it made me realize I may be broken but there is beauty in broken and I can survive. I always tell everybody if I’m talking about suicide, I definitely have issues but if I ever stop talking about suicide, if I become silent, that’s what I know I’m at the end and I need to do something to get me out of this terrible disease. Obviously I know it will never end, but I always remembered that sunrise. I always remember I can find beauty in broken.
Kate this was so beautifully written and so well timed for my receiving of it. This month marks 10 years as a suicide survivor. I used to be so ashamed of it when people would find out. I remember telling my now husband when we were first seeing each other, drunkenly in his living room, after sharing raw story after raw story, and knowing the time was right, but apologetic because it’ was ‘heavy and weird’. He responded with “my best friend killed himself, why would I ever think that’s weird”. Now, that’s a fucking terrible thing to bond over or have in common, but for once I knew someone who understood this epidemic wholly. For once I knew I could be open and honest about my mental state with someone and be heard, be understood. We had known each other for years prior and I never knew about his friend. He never knew about my hospitalization. I highly attribute this to the stigma around talking about suicide.
We need to fight this fight! We need to be able to speak about these moment with each other. We need to know others understand. We need to feel seen. We need to be heard. Lives are at stake. We need more Kate’s in this world - because boy are we lucky to have you here with us still, fighting tooth and nail for us all.
Thank you, thank you! I could not agree more. We need to talk more about suicide not less so that people will feel less shame and guilt about it. Same with mental illness. You are a warrior and we all are if we struggle inside our minds and manage to stay another day. I love your work. Keep going! #suicidesurvivor #mentalhealthishealth
As someone whose diagnosis has a 10% suicide rate, I know what it’s like to battle those thoughts. Thank you for validating the fact that “to live with a serious mental illness is nothing short of being completely badass.” That’s what I try to tell myself!
I’m grateful for you shedding light on this issue. It’s so important that we write and share about it. 🙏
I agree with the need to change the language and eliminate the shame. My very small community in Maine lost a beloved local friend, father and dentist to suicide two days ago and the whole town is shaken. Those who knew him and his family a little better knew there was stress but still had no idea he had come to that decision. Thank you for being a space where it can be talked about openly and I am so sorry for your pain and the loss of beautiful humans.
What a powerful article. I totally agree with you and so admire everything you’re doing. Thank you for being a voice for those who aren’t able to speak up for themselves.♥️
This is powerful.
I agree. These are excellent and powerful words and are very well articulated. They are so very true as well.
Thank you for your tireless efforts. Don’t forget that there are those who support you and your goals in solidarity, even if we’re not as loud or present on social media as some are. We thank you and we love you.
What a wonderful and empowering step forward. You continue to push your boundries and I am so proud and thankful and inspired.
I experienced suicidal ideation on Christmas day. I had a plan, but this time was different. It came from outside of me (it felt like it anyway). The plan spoke to me, working out the kinks that might make me fail. But immediately the me that is me, not that other voice, thought of my new kittens and how they needed me. It was enough to stop me. This time.
I am grateful to have this place, where I can write the uncomfortable things that friends don't want to hear. I am physically alone in the world, and my brain tells me no one cares, I will not be missed and it doesn't matter. Kate, sometimes it's hard to see your video's because they bring up so much pain for me. But that pain need to be recognized, named and brought into the light. So I thank you and your brave content & videos, because I am not sure where I would be without them.
So happy you're here 💜🫂
Thank you dear
Thank you for those words. I tried to end myself twice, the first time I was 15 and I took a whole bottle of aspirin because I remember being told if I did that I would die. I woke up the next day with a headache. I accepted. I wasn’t gonna die right then When I was 21 I was battling a whole bunch of demons and I was still living on Guam so I took a bunch of Valium and a bottle of vodka with the idea that I would end myself at a beautiful beach, peaceful, restful obviously that did not happen, I woke up again to sunrise that was so rose and gold and ocean blue that it made me realize I may be broken but there is beauty in broken and I can survive. I always tell everybody if I’m talking about suicide, I definitely have issues but if I ever stop talking about suicide, if I become silent, that’s what I know I’m at the end and I need to do something to get me out of this terrible disease. Obviously I know it will never end, but I always remembered that sunrise. I always remember I can find beauty in broken.
Thank you for your strength, your courage, and your compassion. 💜
Kate this was so beautifully written and so well timed for my receiving of it. This month marks 10 years as a suicide survivor. I used to be so ashamed of it when people would find out. I remember telling my now husband when we were first seeing each other, drunkenly in his living room, after sharing raw story after raw story, and knowing the time was right, but apologetic because it’ was ‘heavy and weird’. He responded with “my best friend killed himself, why would I ever think that’s weird”. Now, that’s a fucking terrible thing to bond over or have in common, but for once I knew someone who understood this epidemic wholly. For once I knew I could be open and honest about my mental state with someone and be heard, be understood. We had known each other for years prior and I never knew about his friend. He never knew about my hospitalization. I highly attribute this to the stigma around talking about suicide.
We need to fight this fight! We need to be able to speak about these moment with each other. We need to know others understand. We need to feel seen. We need to be heard. Lives are at stake. We need more Kate’s in this world - because boy are we lucky to have you here with us still, fighting tooth and nail for us all.
Thank you. All of this needs to be said.
Thank you for posting this. I do hesitate to call myself a suicide survivor, but I now see that I shouldn’t be.
Thank you, thank you! I could not agree more. We need to talk more about suicide not less so that people will feel less shame and guilt about it. Same with mental illness. You are a warrior and we all are if we struggle inside our minds and manage to stay another day. I love your work. Keep going! #suicidesurvivor #mentalhealthishealth
As someone whose diagnosis has a 10% suicide rate, I know what it’s like to battle those thoughts. Thank you for validating the fact that “to live with a serious mental illness is nothing short of being completely badass.” That’s what I try to tell myself!
I’m grateful for you shedding light on this issue. It’s so important that we write and share about it. 🙏
Endless love for you. Your eloquence, honesty, clarity, and power are stunning. Always in your corner.
Yes, thank you for sharing. This conversation has got to start happening. Thank you, thank you!
I agree with the need to change the language and eliminate the shame. My very small community in Maine lost a beloved local friend, father and dentist to suicide two days ago and the whole town is shaken. Those who knew him and his family a little better knew there was stress but still had no idea he had come to that decision. Thank you for being a space where it can be talked about openly and I am so sorry for your pain and the loss of beautiful humans.
What a powerful article. I totally agree with you and so admire everything you’re doing. Thank you for being a voice for those who aren’t able to speak up for themselves.♥️
Hugs, so many hugs from another heart that gets it and is also fighting.
Well said and yes powerful. Using your skill for the power of good for many. 💜